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Friday, January 4, 2008

Cancer:Common Uncommon

I had to go to HKL last Wednesday for another follow up at the radiotheraphy clinic. It's already 8.30a.m when I give my appointment card to the clerk on duty. The clinic was full of people waiting for their turn to see the doctors. I manage to squeeze myself between a chinese lady with her child and a big malay guy.

Whenever I go to the hospital, I'll always bring a magazine, novel, anything that can help me to pass the time. I also use my reading material as a mechanism for me to avoid conversation. I remembered during my 5th and 6th chemotherapy cycle, I had to be admitted to the radiotherapy wad because the doctors had to increase the dose given to me. I know that I can't stand laying and lazying around without tv to watch. So what I did was I bring a novel, my bead sewing project and of course a Quran which is a must. During day time, I will sew beads until visiting hours. During visiting hours, I will read my novel like nobody business. Reason is, visitors for other patient will come and try to chat with me. I do thank them for making the effort, but I just wasn't interested for a chit chat. They usually will ask questions like "Sakit apa?", "Bila kena?", "Dah ada berapa orng anak?"etc. For goodness sake, if you meet someone at radiotheraphy or oncology clinic, of course they have some sort of cancer. I guess they were just nosy. So I either pretend to sleep or immerse myself in reading novel. As for my visitors, my husband will only come and visit me after maghrib. And for my family members, I have asked them not to come and visit me. It just a treatment after all and I do need rest while my body sucked up all those water and cancer drug.

Anyway, back to the day of the follow up appointment day, I can't help myself from being nosy. I wanted to talk to the chinese lady beside me. It's not her who have cancer. It's her daughter( so that's why I was nosy ok). It was obvious because her daughter was totally bald and wore some kind of mask to cover her nose and mouth. But I tried not to ask "Sakit apa?". I just made a remark "Strong eh?" while I patted her daughter shoulder. Without much probing from me, she told me about her daughter condition. I didn't really know how to show my sympathy but deep down in my heart I can feel for that little girl. She is just 5 years old and yet she had to go through all this radiotheraphy and chemotherapy. I really hope she'll be fine and totally cured.

Yes, chemotheraphy is not an extremely painful treatment. But the aftermath is one heck of a story. I was lucky enough and blessed too I guess because I did not suffer so much during my chemotheraphy treatment. Hair loss? Nada. Weight loss? Just a little bit even though I do want to lose few more kilos ;)
I was just experiencing a mild nausea and loss of appetite for about 4 to 5 days after the chemo. So all in all, I guess I am so blessed that I was diagnosed at a very early stage.

Again, back to the follow up appointment day, the Malay guy on my other side started to make conversation with me. I feel bad for him because he was treated 4 years before for some sort of cancer -I didn't dare asked- and about 1.5 year ago
(this is my own calculation based on his story), the supposedly cured/almost cured cancer cell has already spread up towards his brain. I was speechless. No words of encouragement because I just don't know how. He is younger than me. 26 years old! I wasn't sure whether its just me or what, but I did notice a hint of frustation in his voice. Well, who wouldn't???

My point of telling you my dear reader all of this is just one thing==> Cancer has become a common 'thing' in our world. Not just in Malaysia. Even in the US. If you can take precaution, do it. It may be in terms of your diet, life style and the most important of all, our doa. I have never imagined I will have cancer one day, but I did. So what' left for me? Well, lots of things because we need to know that being cancer patient is not the end of our life.


Sad said...

Awat sedih sangat cerita hang ni nasib baik la tak mengalir airmataaa.... apa apa pun bersyukur itu satu kemestian kerana suma tu ketentuan ilahi.

dla said...

kok.. udah sedih? nggak ada apa2 yg perlu disedihkan dong

Sad said...

Yaammpun temen gue kayak sinetron banget niii. Btw, puan dilla boleh tolong bagitau dekat raja ema oppsss kak ema suruh dia buang segala sign in tu susah la aku nak letak komentar komentar aku yg bernas lagi persis mutiara niii.

Che' A aka Cik CT Albany said...

Agreed... be strong

Aku said...

Masing2 pun ada dugaan masing dlm hidup. Allah tau kita leh handle dugaan yg Dia berikan. Don't dare to give up.