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Thursday, May 28, 2009

A Final Goodbye to Prison Break :(


I have to admit that I cried while watching the final 2 hours episode of Prison Break last night. Not the 2 hours season finale where the bunch were gathering at Michael Scoffield grave but the final episode after its season finale. How can they have an episode after a season finale episode huh?!

I was sad but no tears when I watched the season finale last 2 weeks. I've read spoilers at my favorite Prison Break website so I kind of know that Michael will eventually die. I assume he died because of his brain tumor. I didn't expect him to die while breaking Sara out of prison. Arrgghh!!! Using the big power line to surge power to the door meanwhile get himself electrocuted ??? It must be awful. Yeah! Of course he'll die soon due to his active brain tumor but can he at least die peacefully after every single good thing he did for Sara, Lincoln, Sucre, Mahone,C-Note & the world~he did get Scylla into the right hand didn't he?

Can't Michael& Sara at least have some happy moments together? All they have were run-from-villain moments. Even their wedding day has to be interrupted by some stupid polices making an arrest on Sara. It's so unfair!

BUT, Michael might not die at all. There is no shot of his dead body, just a shot of his grave during the season finale. Well, Michael might be back after all. Hahaha.. what a wish!

I know I'm just ranting here. It's one of the greatest series I 've ever watched. Sure there were some flaws in the script but nevertheless its one of a kind series where you see people actually put their brain to work. Almost in every episode I can see Michael put his 'engineer brain' to work. If he's not using his engineer brain, he'll use his you-think-you-out move-me-but-I'm-two-step-ahead brain.

I don't know when Malaysia can have at least one series, just one like this. I don't mean breaking out of prison series but you know what I mean. I'm tired of watching Malay series. I was Rosham Nor's fan once upon a time but not anymore. His series don't come up with good storyline anymore. Then there are Yusof Haslam's series. Yikess. I don't watch them much now but there were time when I HAVE TO watch them just because. Like when I was visiting relatives, both mine and my husband, not many of them like to watch series like Prison Break or CSI. They were hooked with the Malay/Indonesian series.

Anyway, I'll quit ranting. To kak ema, my ex-housemate (whom in love with Michael Scoffield.. hehehe) we did have a good time watching Prison Break back while we were housemate. I miss that moment as much as I'll miss this series.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Leave My Space Alone!!!

I arrived at the office~not actually my office~my workspace more likely, this morning to find an empty Coke bottle on my table. WTH!!! I left my desk in a neat condition yesterday afternoon. Not that one empty Coke bottle makes my desk immediately untidy but the point is who the hell sat at my place and left his waste behind.

Should I put up a notice at my workspace? Something like 'PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE YOUR MESS HERE IN CASE YOU ARE USING MY DESK'. Sounds very commanding huh?!
I don't want to sound like I'm too prissy but I just don't like it. Simple as that!

Any suggestion how should I tackle this matter properly? Please...

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Qutting is just not an option!

My ex-housemate back when I was an undergrad once told me that I am a very strong person. Last year when we had a chance to chat through Yahoo Messenger she said the same thing to me. This time with an additional attribute which I consider a positive one- I am an OPTIMIST. Honestly, I don't realize that I'm an optimist. I just know that in life we have to move forward, there's no use clinging to some old memories which will only stops us from being a better person.

Ani, a close friend of mine also told me that I am such a strong person. Not that I don't realize I am a strong person but having someone told it to me makes it more real I suppose. I just feel that I have to be strong for my own good. Surely, I have many times reached the I-have-had-enough points in my life but somehow I can't just quit. I just don't know how to quit.

Of course, I have my share of wanting to quit. Especially during the journey of completing my masters degree. Somehow I keep fighting and suppressed the thought of quitting. I don't know how did I find the strength to keep going but I do know that as Muslim, I have Allah as my source of strength.

Now when I look back at those path of my life i.e the I-have-had -enough paths, some of it started to make sense.

I understand now that if I did quit in the middle of a journey, I'll never know what I might find at the end of the road.

I understand now that being an optimist helps carry me through bad times.
~I just can't see the advantage of being a pessimist. If there's a whole lot of them, I might convert into one.. hahaha~

I understand now that an early childhood hardship experience does help me become a strong person.

I might trip, I might fall, I might get bruised all over going through this journey but one thing I know is that I have to keep fighting and never quit.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Bukan Sekadar Itu

Selamat Hari Guru!
Ya, Selamat Hari Guru untuk semua yg pernah atau sedang jadi cikgu, jadi pensyarah atau apa sekalipun nama jawatan anda. Saya pernah menjadi guru ganti semasa menunggu keputusan SPM (orang lain sibuk masuk tingkatan enam, saya sibuk nak bekerja), dan selepas pulang dari Amerika (sementara nak mencari kerja tetap). Jujurnya itu antara pengalaman yang paling bernilai dalam hidup saya, dapat melalui liku-liku dan suka duka menjadi seorang guru walaupun tak lama. Berdepan dengan murid-murid yang bukan saja pelbagai kerenah dan latar belakang tetapi juga tahap akademik yang berbeza. Ada yang pandai tapi pemalas, ada yang tidak tahu apa objektif dia ke sekolah dan bermacam-macam lagi. Mungkin kerana itu saya begitu sensitif bila ada orang yang memperlekehkan kerjaya guru. Kononnya kerja seorang guru ni senang. Kerja separuh hari. Tak perlu masuk hutan seperi askar ataupun tak perlu kerja shift seperti jururawat. Pada saya setiap kerjaya itu punya pakejnya yang tersendiri.

Memanglah ada guru yang tidak komited dengan kerjaya mereka tapi berapa peratus sangatkah jumlah mereka ini berbanding dengan peratusan guru-guru yang benar-benar prihatin dengan masa depan anak murid mereka? Bila saya jadi pensyarah pula, ada jugalah nada-nada sinis yang berkata, "Member aku pun lecturer jugak, dia cerita dia masuk kelas, dia suruh je student buat presentation, kalau student tanya, dia suruh cari sendiri jawapan". Atau "Senang ye kau jadik lecturer, flexible hours. Kerja aku sekarang kena balik lewat, tak tentu masa. Aku ingat nak minta jadi lecturer jugakla".

Nak ketawa pun ada dengan kelompok yang berfikiran sebegini. Maaf cakaplah, belum cuba belum tahu. Cubalah jadi pensyarah~itupun kalau layakkan(sorry, I'm being cynical here). Jangan bandingkan kawan pensyarah anda yang pemalas itu dengan pensyarah-pensyarah lain yg bersusah payah menyediakan slide, soalan kuiz, soalan assignment dan pelbagai lagi untuk anak-anak muridnya. Juga jangan sewenang-wenangnya mencemburui flexible hours para pensyarah kalau anda tak tahu apa kerja kami yang sebenarnya. Anda tentunya mampu menyiapkan tugasan anda jika anda berada di ofis 8-5, tapi kami belum tentu. Sebabnya ofis kami tidak putus-putus dikunjungi para pelajar. Not that I do not welcome my students. They are most welcome to see me almost anytime. Just it irked me when they said something like, "Madam, I went to your room but you weren't there", in such an accusing tone. I usually asked back, "When did you come? During my consultation hours?" And most of the time the answer was NO. Itu belum dicampur lagi dengan pelajar-pelajar yang study last minute, esok exam, hari ni baru beria-ia datang ke ofis bertanya itu ini. Sebetulnya mahu menanyakan apa soalan yang bakal keluarlah tu.

Apa pun, saya enjoy dengan kerja saya. Walaupun cita-cita sebenar saya nak jadi cikgu matematik. Saya teringat kata seorang colleague, "When I received the offer letter, I am quite worried because it states in here that we are not just to teach but we are to be murabbi(pendidik)". Ya, menjadi pensyarah ataupun cikgu bukanlah sekadar mengajar tetapi mendidik. Dan untuk mendidik bukanlah perkara enteng, perlu ada hemah. Saya sendiri masih belajar dari kesilapan-kesilapan diri sendiri pada waktu lalu dan cuba memperbaiki kelemahan saya dalam mendidik.

Sememangnya ramai cikgu-cikgu yang telah banyak berjasa pada saya. Bermula dari yang mengenalkan saya dengan ABC, 123 dan seterusnya sehingga saya melanjutkan pelajaran sekarang. Dalam ramai-ramai tu, seorang Cikgu yang paling saya takkan lupa ialah Cikgu Rashid. He inspired me so much that I did a 180 degree turnaround concerning my interest in Science subject.

Cikgu Rashid mengajar saya subjek Sains waktu saya dalam Tingkatan 3. Walaupun saya sangat minat pelajaran Matematik tapi saya sangat tak suka pelajaran Sains sampaikan saya dah membuat keputusan akan ambil Sosial Sains bila saya masuk Tingkatan 4 nanti. Padahal waktu tu baru nak masuk Tingkatan 3. Saya tak salahkan Cikgu Murni, cikgu Sains saya semasa Tingkatan 2. Lemah lembut & baik hati orangnya. Mungkin pendekatan dia tak sesuai dengan saya maka saya jadi tak berminat. Memang boring gila belajar Sains masa Tingkatan 2. I don't see the point in doing all that experiment when you already know the outcome. Tapi bila masuk Tingkatan 3, Sainslah subjek yg saya paling suka selepas Matematik. Bukan bermaksud untuk riak tapi sayalah antara pelajar harapan Cikgu Rashid untuk dapat A1 dalam SRP. Sedih jugak bila saya hanya dapat A2 tapi oklah daripada sekadar kredit sajakan.

Oh! Ya, Cikgu Rashid ni pernah koyakkan kertas ujian Sains saya walaupun saya dapat markah yg tertinggi waktu tu, sebabnya saya tak hadir ke kelas atas alasan mengikut team basketball untuk menonton satu pertandingan tu. Tapi itu sikit pun tak membuatkan saya menyampah atau sakit hati pada Cikgu Rashid tu. Cikgu Rashid pernah bercerita dengan saya tentang bekas anak muridnya.Katanya, "Saya dulu ada anak murid serupa dengan awak ni [perwatakan], sekarang dia dah sambung belajar di US". Waktu tu saya tersengih je, tak termasuk dalam kepala pun apa maksud cikgu tu. Tapi bila saya fikir-fikirkan sekarang ni, baru saya faham (agaknyalah). Mungkin maksud Cikgu Rashid saya pun boleh berjaya untuk melanjutkan pelajaran ke US~which I did~ ataupun peringkat lebih tinggi. Selepas habis sekolah saya terus terputus hubungan dengan Cikgu Rashid.

Bersempena Hari Guru ni, saya nak ucapkan Terima Kasih Cikgu(walaupun 1 dalam sejuta kemungkinan Cikgu Rashid come across this blog) kerana telah memberi saya inspirasi. Saya tak mungkin terlintas/termimpi untuk ambil jurusan kejuruteraan kalau bukan cikgu yang memberi inspirasi pada saya untuk belajar & minat pelajaran Sains 17 tahun yang lalu.

Moral of the storynya kat sini (untuk diri saya & juga rakan2 seangkatan), menjadi cikgu atau pensyarah bukanlah sekadar mengajar tetapi juga untuk mendidik dan yang paling penting ialah TO INSPIRE!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

How to fwd sms using iPhone?

I don't know whether I should be angry or amuse. Truthfully, I'm very pissed at this moment. I just find out that I can't forward my text message without downloading a third party application first. I have no love for my iPhone now. Arrgghhh...

If my dear friend Ani hasn't messages me this morning (a Mother's Day wish sms), I may not find out that I can't forward my text messages using this silly iPhone. I really regret my hasty decision to buy this iPhone. I don't know whether you can consider thinking whether to buy or not over a month is a hasty decision. I feel like I want to throw this iPhone into its designer face. Really! I really do!

I've browsed through its manual. Nada, nothing about forwarding text message. I googled on the topic. Sure, there are hundreds of thousands links on 'how [to] forward text [messages using] iphone', but none, I repeat none can solve my problem. Yeah! none which is a straightforward solution. I should have just bought Nokia 5800 which amounted five pound less in my monthly bill.

If any of you out there considering to buy an iPhone ( I should say stupid iPhone), don't think twice. My advice is, don't even think about it. Period!!!

The only application in iPhone which stops me from putting up an ad for sale is its GPS application. Surely it is inferior to other satellite navigator such as GARMIN or Tom Tom but it works better than the one in Nokia.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Namanya pun PhD

and

Ramai orang yang beranggapan hanya orang yang TERER ala-ala Kesatria Baja Hitam(cite Jepun hujung 1980-an) saja yang layak buat PhD ni. Termasuklah aku satu ketika dulu. Aku bukanlah nak menafikan orang-orang yang berpangkat Doktor Falsafah tu tak terer. Tidak begitu.

Tapi ini mengikut kata beberapa orang yang dah berjaya mendapat PhD, part of getting your PhD is pure luck. Tak kiralah orang tu pandai mana pun, tapi kalau tak lucky tak dapat PhD.

Aku lebih suka kalau gantikan perkataan luck tu dengan 'rezeki'. Pada aku seluruh perjalanan mendapatkan ijazah PhD ni memang bergantung pada rezeki. Mana tidaknya, dapat biasiswa atau tidak, tu bergantung pada rezeki kita. Lepas tu, dapat supervisor yang bersesuaian dengan kita, tu pun satu rezeki. Jatuh bangunnya kita sepanjang perjalanan mendapatkan PhD tu, itu pun bergantung pada rezeki. Kalau rezeki kita Allah mudahkan, maka mudahlah mendapat idea untuk menyelesaikan masalah-masalah mendatang. Itu belum kira lagi masalah-masalah sekeliling.

Ada orang mempertikaikan kalau dah memang rezeki kita, makanya tak perlulah bersusah payah berfikir sampai dalam tidur pun termimpi pasal research, sebab akhirnya memang dapat PhD tu. Betul jugakan? Tapi tahukah kita sesuatu itu rezeki kita atau tidak melainkan kita berusaha untuk mendapatkannya? Contoh paling mudah, setiap orang Islam Allah janji akan dimasukkan dalam syurga. Maka adakah dgn sebab itu kita boleh buat sesuka hati sebab in the end masuk syurga jugak? Takkan.

Akhir-akhir ini banyak aku membebel pasal PhD ni. Bukanlah nak mengada-ngada atau apa. Tapi aku come in contact dgn beberapa orang yang kurang/tidak memahami nature of PhD ni. Ada orang yang menganggap buat PhD ni macam amik first degree. Asalkan belajar bersungguh-sungguh, pasti berjaya gitu. Rasa nak tepuk dahi saja. Tapi aku tak salahkan mereka. Sesetengah tu memang tak ada pendedahan pun terhadap working towards a PhD. Tapi sesetengah tu, gaya bercakapnya macam tahu tapi sebenarnya hampeh. Bila kita nak betulkan pemahaman dia tu, ala-ala tak mahu menerima pulak. Aduh!!! Geram pun ada.

Analoginya, bak kata suami aku, orang buat PhD ni ala-ala tukang masak yang perlu merekacipta satu resepi baru. Ataupun resepi lama yang perlu diperbaharui dari beberapa segi atas sebab-sebab tertentu & resepi yg diperbaharui ni perlulah superb & marvellous gitu.

Hemm..penat dah membebel... I just need to get this thought out of my head.