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Friday, October 9, 2009

Just A Little Bitching...

Alright, this may be a little bit of bitching plus some of the content is not very comfortable to read. So reading is at your own risk.

I'm a week plus late. Yup! Late as in my period is a week plus late. I'm worried that I might be pregnant because I can't be pregnant until I go through my CT scan this December. On the other hand, I'm worried that I may be sick again. My menstruation is not 'on schedule' for these past few months. Last time when my period is not on schedule as usual (for few months), it turns out I had an ovarian cyst which then turns out to be an ovarian cancer. So now when it happens again, I'm worried sick. I don't let on my worries to consume my thoughts, just that everyday now I pray for my period to say 'Hi! I'm here now'. I know I should get a pregnancy test kit but last time I did, I just wasted 5 pound of my money.
Talking about pregnancy, I've been hit quite a number of times with questions and remarks like "When are you going to have a baby?" or "Next will be your turn (especially when I hold someone else baby). " Huh! As if.

Having experienced being an ovarian cancer patient widen my perspective. I am extra careful when asking others about getting pregnant. Surely I am always cautious when asking this sort of questions because I detest people asking when am I going to get marriedwhen I was still single. I consider myself lucky because I still have an ovary intact. There are people who do not have a choice but to remove their entire reproduction system. So imagine yourself being in their shoes, and all the while people keep asking when you're going to have a baby. The first few times, you might still have the decency to smile and be nice. However, at the end of the day with just a few ounces of patience left, you might feel the urge to retort back with snappy answer like "Why do you care?"

Some might think the easiest way out is to bare the truth. Just let people know your condition. Of course some may offer their deepest sympathy but some may not really care. So what's the point in sharing your pain and probably misery when what you get in return are hurtful remarks like, "A friend of mine also had a condition like yours... she has already died" or "I heard there's no cure for cancer. Its like a death sentence" or "Oh! You live a healthy life. How can this happen to you? I don't really like to eat healthily. I just hope it won't happen to me."

Excuse me! Do they really think that I want to hear about some people dying due to the same condition as mine? Do they know that people die for a silliest reason there is like choking on a tiny peanut. Good grief! Do they think I wish day and night for this?

Even though the evil side of mine sometime lurking around to surface, I do not wish this to anyone. I may secretly hope they sort of fall flat on their face. Hahaha.. Well, I do not. Seriously I don't. Take my word ;)

Below is a picture of an ovarian cyst. Sadly, the picture that an intern doctor took of my ovarian cyst was somewhere in my old handphone and that handphone was sort of gone. I did remember though that my ovarian cyst was 1.2kg in weight and about 8 inches long. Huge eh!

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Ir A.Aziz said...

That picture of ovarian cyst, scary! 1.2 kg? Besarnyer!

Aper2 pon, saya mendoakn yg terbaik untuk madam. Hope xder aper yg bruk la.

P/s - Period madam lambat brsebab kot. Traffic jam. Hahaha! Jgn marah madam. Sekadar nak menghiburkan hati madam yg tgh menggelogak.

Dilla said...

yup! it's scary. just a little reminder from me, make sure the women in your family get a regular check up. Ovarian cancer so far is hard to detect in an early stage but other types if cancer or abnormality in the womb such as uterine cancer can be detected from regular pap smear test.

ummi iman said...

Semoga ALLAH permudahkan segala urusan sahabat ku ini.AMIN.

ANA said...