You are A Worrier

-Pokok yg sangat cantik dekat Postgrad School Office. Bangunan Coklat tu tingkat bawahnya ialah Masjid Newcastle University-

I went to see both of my supervisors last Friday to submit the draft of my 1st year report. Thing is my report is very 'COMOT'. 'Comot' because I haven't list down my references, I haven't write up my abstract, some of the figures are incomplete i.e. no legend, and mostly because I have not finished writing on one topic-Principal Component Analysis (PCA). And yes, my grammar is everywhere. Huh!

I actually sent an e-mail to my supervisors the day before asking if I can postpone the submission date. She asked me to submit whatever I have at the moment. Hence the submission of the 'comot'report.

When my supervisors skimmed through my report, I was actually quite nervous and dreaded to hear their comments. Not that they are mean or anything. They are always nice, friendly and supportive to me. The first comments from both of them were:

SP1: You're a worrier.
Sp2: I don't agree. She's a TOTAL worrier.
~I am relieve to hear that actually :)

SP2: Nor, what are you trying to do? Finish your PhD in record time?
~WOW! That's a compliment. I was beaming inside but still worried that I have a lot of reading and understanding and simulation to do.

Me: I just have a scholarship for 3 years plus 6 months extension.
~I can apply for another 6 months extension after the 1st extension but the 2nd extension is without cost of living scholarship. I've walked that route before (during my master) and I am not going to take it again.

SP1: Well, what are you gonna do during your final year?
~I just smile and keep quiet. I'd like to say 'I'll go travel around Europe but that sounds dope isn't it? As if I have the mean to do that.

SP2: How long do you need the extension?
Me: I don't have much except the PCA and its case study to write up.
SP2: Alright, I'll e-mail the postgrad office and ask for 2 weeks extension.
~Actually, I wish for a month extension. But I don't want to propose something hideous like that won't I? Takpelah, 2 minggu pun cukup je sebenarnya. Bak kata Ani, "Kalau dapat sebulan tu, 2 minggu menjahit, 2 minggu lagi buat keje. Oh, yes! I've a new hobby, embroidering. Will share on that in my later post.

-The same tree as above-

I'm sharing this not because I'm proud of myself. Seriously, I don't feel proud at all. There are number of reasons why I stop myself from feeling 'on cloud nine'.
1- ANYTHING, I mean ANYTHING can happen along this journey. I pray to Allah for a smooth sailing.
2- If in the future I might have to apply for an extension due to whatever reasons, and some people might say something like, "Itulah dulu riak sangat". Even though I don't feel 'riak' at all.
3- I bear the responsibility of coming here with a background as a lecturer in a Malaysia's university. My supervisors are well informed about my background so if I don't give the best of impressions to them, what's left?

I'm just happy -well, extremely happy if I must say- that both of my supervisors appreciate my efforts and they like my work. Above all, I learn a very insightful lesson.

1- I want to be a better, nicer and supportive lecturer to my students (postgrad students' supervisor as well) when I go back home, just like both of my supervisors.
2- Praises can motivate people. When my supervisors praised my effort, I was delighted and am determine to perform much much better. So, I'll probably utilizing on this psychology technique on my students (and my children when I have them).
3- I hope to stay humble when appropriate. Well, there are situations where we need to give some attitude right? Hahaha...

Most importantly, I need to keep praying for Allah's guidance and help throughout my journey of PhD and journey of life. Also I have to keep praying so that my supervisors will stay supportive and nice to me.

Not to forget, my heartfelt gratitude to all of you who leaves constructive and supportive comments on my Shut The H*** UP post. I know thank you is not enough. May Allah bless us all.